It seems no sooner did the holidays come around that they're gone again.  I blame moving in December, and the snow coming late.  And now it's the last day of 2012.  What a year.

Christmas time I always look forward to.  There's a kind of warmth to the season even though it's winter that you can only feel in this time of the year.  Seeing all the houses decorated with Christmas lights and decorations - there's honestly nothing more fun than living in or near a neighbourhood where a majority of houses are decked out with lights.  I wonder how many nights I can go walking around and enjoy it before they all get taken down.  This was also the time of year when I got to see most of my relatives, especially those who I didn't see any other time of the year.  Those were always such great times and memories.  Sometimes I look back and miss them but not with any kind of regret that they're over.  I'm happy that they're there for me to look back on, now that the family's grown on and apart.

Now with year's end here my focus is on the new year ahead.  This year there are no resolutions for me, I'm not going for that perspective.  There are plans and goals to be sure, I plan on being very busy in the new year.  Instead I'm starting my year with something that's been floating around Facebook.  An empty jar, which you fill throughout the year with notes about good things that have happened throughout the year and at the end you open it and look back on the great year you have.  I like the idea in being open to whatever good comes your way and not just what you plan to accomplish in the year.  After all:
The road to success is a journey; it twists and turns, sometimes things are unexpected.  It may not be the path you expect, but if your eyes are always down on the road you'll miss all the unexpected blessings that tend to come along.

Today I'll be doing some prep and planning while I continue to try and heal this back.  I strained it badly last week and it's been pain central ever since, though I've made sure to keep any length of bed rest to a very bare minimum.  The pain at least has started to subside and the more I do the quicker the swelling goes down, so hopefully a week?  Or two?  My New Year's Eve will be pretty quiet, just my mom and I.  Some of my friends will be ringing in the year playing video games, I'll likely follow suit.  I got Diablo III and a World of Warcraft time card for Christmas as well as a brand spanking new laptop all my own, but that can wait for another entry.  Because I can ramble on about those all day long!

Enjoy your New Year's (safely!), and here's to a brilliant 2013!

My whole November and the first couple weeks of December can be basically summed up like this:

• - start NaNo
• - get two days ahead
• - put in moving notice
• - house hunt
• - struggle with word count
• - find house, start packing
• - more struggle with word count
• - lots of packing
• - pack and send out NaNo swap packages
• - finalize new house
• - packing?  Yep still that
• - word count finally caught up
• - NaNo ends
• - call utilities
• - packing done

Yes I'm moving again.  The place we're heading to is a really nice place and I'm way excited.  I'm more excited about where we're moving to than when we moved here.  Don't get me wrong, this house is a nice house and it's in a nice area, there's just something about this new place we're heading to.  I'm hopefully going to take pictures, providing I can get a camera.  My goal this time around is to have a less stressful move than the last one - so far about 95% achieved.  The truck is booked, we have friends to do the heavy lifting (some of this furniture is pretty freaking heavy, no lie) and the place is for-sure.  And we have a move-in date, we'll be able to celebrate Christmas there.

NaNo so far can be easily summed up like this: I got ahead a few days, fell one day behind, caught up, fell behind some more, lost a couple days' of writing and managed to just make it on the 29th.  Rewarded myself for managing it, Magnum ice cream is the most amazing thing ever.  I had a hard time about week 2 with this story, I started hating it.  And it wasn't even like it was work-through-it-fix-later kind of hate, it was I-don't-want-to-be-here hate.  Normally I'd take a break to something else but I wasn't going to allow that during November.  I ended up rewriting chapters 2-4 until I got them going in a way that made me like the story again, and I created a dump file for everything I've written but decided is not going to go into the story.  That way I hadn't lost words I fair and square wrote and managed to preserve my chapters.  In eight chapters my two M.C.s had three bad spats and a new character materialized around chapter 4 with some timely conversation.

Well I needed the word boost.  Dialogue is good for that.  Besides, it's not the first time a new character has shown up out of nowhere, and won't be the last either.  We'll see how he shapes up as the story progresses.

I realized what a tricky main character I've designed here, though.  She had some of her memories locked away and starts the story that way, but along with those memories she's forgotten two significant things: the man she loves and the reason for the whole thing in the first place.  She's reunited with said love interest in chapter 2 and has to deal with emotions her heart remembers to a man her mind can't recall.  Pinning down what that would make one say, do, feel and think is interesting, although difficult because it's something I'm having a hard time connecting to.  I've never been in such a situation so what would be a realistic reaction?  When would you follow your heart and when would you follow your head?

It's a challenge.  And I love it.

I'm going for a story with some didn't-see-that-coming kind of twists near the end, and the whole truth of the situation comes out.  Everyone has their piece of the story, or what they think is the story, and with my M.C. acting as sort of a catalyst for the truth it's going to come together nicely.  Plus her mother's going to get into some serious battle action.  It was a topic in the Fantasy forum on the NaNo boards, I think the pet peeve topic, and one commenter's peeve was about how older women never seem to do any of the 'fun' stuff (fight, have adventures, love story, etc).  I didn't add it with a specific goal of bringing that to light, but the point kind of stuck in my head.  Because you know what?  It would be rather fun to see the 'mother' figure kick some butt here and there.  And I was kind of taken by Rene's role in Thor and the scene when she picks up the sword to defend her husband.  I was a little disappointed that she only got one strike off before being knocked aside; I mean come on, this is Lethal Weapon's Lorna Cole and the character comes from the Norse mythology and gods.  Let the lady kick some ass!

Goodness, what a mess I'm surrounded with.  Guess break time is over, I should get to cleaning house.  Again.

Well tea house has left the building.  I'm making a note to go visit the store for more very soon.  But I'm uber excited to see what my swap partners are going to send my way!

Today NaNoWriMo has finally begun!  I had originally intended to start my writing at midnight but instead I'm 'clearing my schedule', as it were.  I've cleaned my office several times now this past week.  When I get into creative crafty stuff there is no such things as "organized" or "clean", haha.  I have a bunch of half-finished projects floating around this desk right now, and that just won't do.  So my plan right now is to finish them off like they're supposed to be, head to bed, wake up and do some writing.  I plan to break this late-night habit this month though; I don't sleep well when I'm crawling into bed at like 3am, and I don't dream very clearly either.  And I very much enjoy my dreams as well as not oversleeping like I'm wont to do when I hit the pillow late.

I'm being kept company right now by Jesse and Crendor's live stream.  Right now they're playing around in Guild Wars 2 on the craziest jumping puzzle I've ever seen.  That probably sounds incredibly boring if you're not a gamer, but I'm watching more for the convo between them than actual gameplay.  I have a couple more things to put together for my swap partner's package for the big ship-out on Friday, some things I decided to handmake.  I got her package today and I love it!  She sent me:

• a copy of the CD she did for the NaNo CD swap, can't wait to check that out
• 3 Orange Blossom Thyme lolipops from the Groovy Baker
• a sticky notepad
• a little Cactus Pups toy, who's currently keeping me company sitting on my keyboard
• a Mini Plush Labbit
• Hot Buttered Rum powder
• 4 World Market hot chocolates: Salted Caramel, Dark Chocolate, Mexicocoa and Dulce De Leche

I'll try to get pics when I can.  I hope my tea swaps come soon.

I have a few more notes to work out for my NaNo story as well, Street Team posts to write and queue and some Review Mondays and Fangirl Times to write and schedule ahead of time.  I purposefully chose not to do more Review Mondays in October so I could do some writer-focused ones in November.  There are a few new sites and such I came upon, so I want to do those in spirit of NaNo.  I also have my NaNo Advent box to prep up.  I saw it on the forums for years and never really looked at it until this year out of curiousity.  If you remember those chocolate advent calendars you buy at Christmas, this is more or less the same idea.  You make or buy thirty boxes or seven or even one, however you wish to do it, and you put a treat in it for every day of November.  You hit your word goal for the day, you get to open a box.  I got my Mom in on the fun, she went out and bought a bunch of snacks that she divided into small bags and labeled and stick in the box for the small word goals.  I'm also going to do a bit of my own for the bigger word goals and for bonus ones (anything I hit over 50k).  LoL time, PS2 time, whatever I can think of.  I'm curious to see how well this form of motivation works.

Or maybe I should call it the Tea House, since it smells like one!

Went out with my mom Friday night for some shopping and dinner.  I picked up all sorts of goodies which I can't keep (they're for my swap buddies) and dinner was...well ended up kind of being an achievement for me more than anything.  Anxiety made it very difficult for me to go out that I just got into a habit of avoiding doing something like go out to dinner.  We don't often get the chance to do this as it is, and mom and I had a lot of fun.  It was worth the jitters.  Right now my desk is a mess of goodies all strewn about - padded envelopes, pens, glitter, lots of teas.  And a snack called Dragon's Lair for my swap buddy.  I seriously can't stop smelling the loose teas - they're so fruity and sweet!  I almost want to replace the rose potpourii on my desk with loose leaf tea, but I love the rose too much.  I hope my swap partners enjoy them; I know I'm definitely going back for some for my own personal stash.  I can't wait to see what they send me!

Goodness this desk is such a mess...

NaNo is almost here.  I still have so much planning to do, and still much catching up to do on my pre-NaNo story.  How time flies.  No word yet on where we're having our Kick-Off this year, or our "official" write-ins but I know I'm going to hit up the Starbuck's a lot this November.  And the Second Cup down the road - I miss that place so much.  I used to go to the one in the west end all the time in high school, it has such a great vibe.  Nice and warm, good music and wonderful hot chocolate.  And with Tim Horton's now having wi-fi I'm certainly not going to be at a loss for writing locations throughout the month.  I need to get out of this house more.  My brain is itching to work on this story.  It seems the closer we get to the start of November the more the more scenes flash in my brain, dialogue I can't write out yet.  It's ten more days, right?  Think all this great dialogue will stick around that long?  I stand hopeful - or sit, rather.

I'm off to be crafty for a little bit before bed, later today the Mum Show!  Pics of that to come soon hopefully.

Movie night was so much fun!  Except for the stomach ache afterwards haha.  Too many rich foods all at once but damn if it wasn't a good night.  We watched Paranormal Activity 2 and Halloween H20, neither of which were scary per se.  Paranormal Activity 2 had some great jump scares once the movie really got going, but it was kind of drawn out in the beginning.  H20 was...shorter than I remembered.  It was like here's Jamie Lee, here's her new life, here's Michael, here's some dead kids, here's Jamie killing Michael.  The end.  Well it never did compare to the first few originals (Halloween got crappy from four onward).  This weekend we're going to hopefully watch the first Halloween movie and Nightmare on Elm street.  On the menu we're sticking to a simpler layout - pizza, veggies and dip and some sweets from Bulk Barn.  I'm not planning on a repeat of last week thank you, worst night I've had in a long time.  But homemade bruschetta is the most amazing thing ever I got to admit.

Thanksgiving as always was good.  Mom actually cooked instead, but we both did the cheesecake.  OMG the cheesecake...there are no words.  It was beyond amazing.  I can't really stand the taste of pumpkin but in cheesecake it's sweet enough to really enjoy.  It really must be tried even if you hate pumpkin pie.

Of course, all that food means a serious detox is in order.  I need to flush all that out of my system before it decides to hang around, so it's been mostly soups and salads and apples all week.  And twice the water intake.  I might start double-walking Dalila too, although that's hardly inviting right now.  It's so cold out holy geez!  There's been a giant wind for the past couple days which usually means something is on its way (a storm in most cases) but aside from some rain yesterday morning there's been nothing.  Wasn't the best day to do yard work but it had to be done and the front lawn looks so much better now.  Not sure what we're going to do tomorrow, we're still wanting to take Dalila to the falls (not Niagara Falls, these are more local) but tomorrow's too busy a day.  My fingers are crossed for Sunday though!

Time to get my butt moving on writing.  Still about 8k behind.  I'm having flashbacks of my first NaNo experience!

Well first thing's first, I finally have a move date.  Next week!  I'm quite excited, I'll have my own computer space again instead of being tucked into a corner between a t.v. and the kitchen.  I hate using excuses with a passion however I do think it affected my writing.  I'll fix that in the new place.  It's nice not to have to look for places anymore and knowing the whole chaos of having furniture and boxes piled up all over the place won't last much longer.  And a backyard, there'll be a real backyard!  My inner gardener is so happy you have no idea, I miss having plants so much.  A few flower boxes just isn't doing it for me (plus this heat killed off all my pansies).  I'll probably take some pictures once we're all settled in.  I have plans for this new space.

So my "dates" haha.  Well I went back to Chasing Dreams.  I was six and some chapters into it before I dropped off, now I'm back with it.  I love this story, I want it to see the light of day and if that's ever going to happen I had to get over a few things for that to happen.  The biggest of those things was posting samples up for critique.  That's such a huge fear for any writer I think when they start taking those first serious steps to publishing.  You want the constructive criticism, you want those opportunities to develop your shell but at the same time you don't want to hear your story absolutely stinks beyond any sort of redemption.  Not so much the technical aspects, which can be fixed with time and practice, but the very idea itself.  I'm sure there are some writers out there who don't have that fear or were able to easily get past it, but it was difficult for me.  There's only one thing for it though; deep breath and face the music.  Gather your bravery and set forth.  So I did - and was pleasantly surprised!  The overall verdict is that I have a great deal of work to go, however I was given a lot of good ideas of how I can restart the first chapter and get more action going and the critiques were helpful.  No ripping apart of the story itself, one person even said the writing was good.  Everyone likes to think they can tell a good story but when a random person online who has no reason to butter you up compliments your writing it's a nice feeling.  So the rewrite continues, it's still not polished but (to me at least) it's starting to read a little better.  I'm using it as a chance to attempt at more showing and less telling but without going right into editing mode.  Getting the story out is top priority, however I've also been looking up resources for when I get a whole draft finished.  There's much reading to be done for me.

Speaking of reading, I borrowed a copy of "50 Shades" for a date with Christian Grey.  Which probably sounds weird to people who know me because I actually don't like what I've heard and read of these books.  It isn't the so-called BDSM and sex, I've read fanfics and original novels with more sex than "50 Shades" has.  For one, you can't really have an opinion about something you haven't actually read/watched/listened to.  Two, I want to see for myself just what it is about Christian Grey that others are swooning over.  What I've read has honestly creeped me out, but I've promised myself to give it a fair shot before coming to a final thought about it.  Though honestly, not entirely looking forward to this.

This new format keeps making my eyes glaze over.  I liked the old version better.  What can I say, I'm stubborn with my technology :)

Anyway, hi again!  Life has been...well yeah.  When are things going to calm down, I'd like to know.  I think maybe life just doesn't like my attempts at making a schedule lol  Life's just going to have to get over that.  Each time brings some interesting struggles though; for example, I have no dedicated writing space for the sheer fact that there is none in this apartment.  Currently I'm tucked in a corner between the open kitchen counter and the t.v. stand.  I kind of had no choice, I wasn't here when they installed the internet or I would have had them hook up the modem elsewhere.  It makes it very hard to focus a good part of the time, but at least it eliminated the t.v. as a source of distraction.  Now if I could only do that with YouTube...

I've managed to start writing again!  It's not wholly ideal, I stay up way too late but it's only temporary.  We're in the process of looking to move into a new place with more space which will definitely help, in the meantime I'm working on keeping up with the blogging and writing.  It keeps me sane.  So yes there will be regular content.  Some reviews, some thoughts, and lots of progress.

Something I've long avoided asking myself, because I already know the answer. And it's one I hate giving because it's really not so much an answer as it is an excuse. That big ol' "no time" excuse. Some people might consider it a reason and with few examples it could be - big life change, sudden illness, serious family issues. Those certainly are not excuses and certainly should be at the forefront. But right now there are no big life changes, no sudden illness and no serious family issues standing in my way. It's me standing in my way, because as twisted as it sounds I chose to let things be more important than my writing. It's all the stuff I feel I need to do that I just can't brush off aside, but stuff I'm not getting around to either. My Year of No Excuses is not starting off so well. Can't have that.

When you have not, you create. So in that vein I must create the time space I want in order to do my writing. A lot of writers advise (and rightly so) that scheduling time for writing helps you to buckle down and write. But for some (like me) it's incomplete advice. I can't just schedule writing time, I have to schedule time for the non-writing stuff I have to do. Maybe that makes me a little nuts, but for me writing these kinds of things out takes an enormous pressure off my mind and it's a lot easier to just relax and get things done. It's too easy to get caught up in the stress of life, and when you have downtime all you want to do is be down (as in relaxed, not depressed). Motivation is that elusive gift that you can't really define nor can you really give directions to; ultimately you have to go out and find it yourself. Once you know what motivation feels like for you, then nothing's impossible. You can always find it again, easily retrieve it and take on life.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some hunting to do...